Countdown to Bush's Last Day

Grim Statistics

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Virile Vitter

David Vitter, senator from Louisiana and stringent defender of "traditional marriage" has been caught, literally, with his pants down. His phone number was found among the voluminous records of the Washington madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey, and a New Orleans madam's charge that Vitter was a frequent guest at her house as well also puts the senator in a, um, compromising position. Monday night Vitter issued this statement: "This was a very serious sin in my past for which I am, of course, completely responsible...several years ago, I asked for and received forgiveness from God and from my wife in confession and marriage counseling."

Vitter was also seen wearing a yellow bracelet with the letters WWBLD on it. He responded to reporter's questions that the letters stood for "What Would Bob Livingston Do?" Ok, I made that last part up, but don't you think it's more than a little ironic that Vitter took Livingston's House seat after Livingston stepped down over a sex scandal? And before his departure, Livingston had been chosen to succeed Newt Gingrich as Speaker of the House-who was also boffing a Woman Other Than His Wife at the time? Christ, don't these Republicans ever work?

Vitter did get a lukewarm vote of approval from that other paragon of sexual fidelity, Republican front runner Rudy Guiliani, who also noted that, "Some people disappoint you." Your son couldn't agree more, Rudy.

Sen. Vitter is currently seeking spiritual advice from Jimmy Swaggert and Ted Haggard.

Ok, I made that up too. At least, I think I did.

No comments: