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Monday, February 19, 2007

Fallout From Fox and Feith

For committed neocon ideologue Doug Feith, last weekend's interview on "Fox News Sunday" should have been a monumental wake up call that there is no honor among thieves. If I were him, I would be seriously watching my back right about now. He is clearly being set up to take the fall for this whole Iraq war disaster, and who better to set the stage than Fox and their hatchet man Wallace? And while Feith's precipitous fall from grace has been a grimly compelling spectacle, it is less than satisfying-something akin to having Peter Pettigrew in shackles while Voldemort continues to wreak havoc unabated.

So, what's a disillusioned neocon to do? Again, if I were Feith, I'd realize I'm being hung out to dry here and it's time to abandon ideology if I don't want to end up the Bill Buckner of Iraq foreign policy. Here's just a few pearls of advice:

Call up Henry Hill and say, "I'm going to have a little problem I think you can help me with. How do you cut a deal for witness protection, because I'm going to have a target on my forehead the size of Jupiter when I'm done."

Cozy up to Bob Woodward, and tell him you know what the president knew and when he knew it.

Employ Bryan Keefer full time to counteract the lies and innuendo that will be launched full throttle as soon as you start to tell the truth. It won't be pretty. You better also get yourself a prescription for Prevacid and Xanax.

Of course, if all else fails, you could always check yourself into alcohol rehab and blame the drink. But just think of how much more satisfying laying the blame where it belongs would be.

After all...they're trying to destroy you, Doug...and they certainly will, if you let them.

It's up to you now.

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